Values Clarification

What are values?

Values are character traits. Who we are striving to be and what we believe in (not religious or moral values necessarily, but they may be). Acting contrary to our values leads to guilt, self- deception, anger, frustration with others, self-loathing, shame, and all sorts of other unhelpful and unpleasant things. When we have integrity, when our actions line up with our Values, we tend to feel peace instead of turmoil, connection instead of discord, and greater joy in our lives.

How do I know if I value something?

When we value something we put our money, time, and resources into it. You might value many traits to a degree, but at some intersections in life you have to choose which ones are worth more to you.

Values vs. Goals

Values are like a direction (“Let’s hike north”) Goals are like a destination (“Let’s hike to that summit”) Both are good. Because values are about who we are in the present moment, they are something that we can always act upon, Goals depend on many outside factors. Values are all about the process and the direction we are moving towards, not some end destination.

If values are so important, how come we don’t live them?

Living a valued life includes discomfort. Doing something good- like making new friends, serving others, creating art, making YouTube videos, it all requires vulnerability, maybe some anxiety, or disappointment. We get to choose what is most important to us. Is it living a pain- free life, or living your values? Most people would say the most important thing to them is to live their values, to have good relationships, to help others, to create beauty in the world, even if that means there is some discomfort. Sometimes we just need to be reminded of what is most important to us, and not just avoid discomfort.